I'm Yours presented on ukulele

As a study break, I browsed through facebook, which is something that I don't usually do. I found that a friend of mine from 3-4 years ago had a 4 months old baby. It is funny what one can find on facebook sometime. It is just strange. Couple years ago, she left our church because her boyfriend then (husband now) had some issue with us. I thought he was the strangest person I have ever met from his personality, to the way he talks, to his way of thinking, etc. Maybe strange is the wrong word, he is just different. I treated him like I treated anyone. Anyway, it's a weird feeling... after she left, she was married to her in couple months. Now she has a baby and she is slightly younger than me.

Yina was also married this summer. I was in the wedding and met her family and I was very happy for her. But since then, I felt like I can't related to her anymore. The marrial status has made her different. So here's anyother thing, after having all those awesome, remarkable, and one in a life time relationship with my Minnesotan friends, some of us don't even talk. We have no idea what is going on with each other anymore. We continued to dwell in our busy lives. It is weird. It does not make sense to me somehow. A question begged to come out of my mind, "so why borther making friends at all?" If you don't know me, I don't meant that one should not be making friends, and la la la. Of course, I am all for making friends. As a matter of fact, I love my friends and I care for a lot of people even though they may not notice it. There is just something in me that push me to people, make me want to get to know them better, and really care about how they are doing. Maybe because I get so invloved with other people's life and make myself so vulnerable too quickly, a side of me want to know where friendship will be going.

Human needs other human. So do we make friend for our own selfishness so that we have someone to lean on or to call on in need? So that once they are gone for a while, it almost does not matter as long as we have someone else? Or am I thinking too much after doing all those intellectual exercise from grad school?

I really don't have any answer. People come and go in our life. Whatever the reason is for friendship, enjoy every single minutes with a friend because it will never be the same.

  For some reason, today feels very long. After spending yesterday hanging out with friends at the Metropolitan Museum, China town, and attending the small group, I should have enough motivation to finish the work I gave myself to do - just 2 pages of my 30 pages paper. After a whole day, I barely write a page and unsatisfied with the quality of my work. Honestly, I really rather be doing something else.Distracted by my overwhelming unnecessary thoughts and emotion, I sticked my head out of the giant window in the hallway, breathed in as much as possible the "fresh" air from outside. The cool air is much needed to cool my head down as well as my heart. I can almost sense that the unwelcome once-a-month-business is coming, every time play around with my minds and mood.
  I imagine getting myself out to sit in the coldness. And then my rational self immediately draws the thoughts back by telling myself I have much to do. My rebellious nature rebutted with convincing evidence, "what have you done all day anyway?" Then my non-confrontational side calms both parties down.
  Is New York city really for me? Do I really want to spend the following 3-4 years here? Once again, I am feeling cultural shock, this time though, is from the warm Minnesotan-nice and familiar faces to the diversified exciting cold New York.