Browsing though couples of my friends blog, what is going on? Every seems to be not doing so well. Maybe it's the weather, or season of life. Right out of college is the time when reality meets ideology, when hard work meets uncertainty. We are all starting to get burn out. Friends, it's time to learn another lesson in life. I am not out of school, but I am learning.
In the recent years, I have discovered that my father is really a master and philosopher of life. My dad is so humorous and joyful all the time. Not only is he able to see clearly people's personality and motivation, he is able to maintain a mind of peace and find little cheerful things in life. These two things do not seem like they connect, but let me try to explain. Many of us, recent graduates, are burnt out and frustrated with my being, because the world is not as black and white and ideal as we thought it is. Stories after stories from my friends revealed the darkness and competition in the work place and life. Maybe we are holding on too tight. We are angry and upset with injustice and evilness. We complain and pull our emotion with it. That blinds to appreciate goodness and beauty, which can be our energy. Embracing the world we live in is hard, but it's a matter of attitude and perceptive.
Youngsters, keep trying. We are still young... and naive at time. At least, we are not alone.

  Since Theresa and I went to the relationship seminar yesterday, our conversation have been surrounding the singleness and dating. I wouldn't talk behind her back about her relationship, so I am talking about myself.
Since I have arrived, my friends and suitemates have made multiple attempts to get me dates or go to speed dating events. I generally have a negative response and feeling towards them. It's not like I think I have the gift of singleness. I do want to be loved and love someone.
  I guess partly it has to do with the timing, it's just not there yet. I just don't think intentional looking it will give me someone right. It's so easy to fall in the trap of dating someone because you want a boy/girlfriend, instead of truly loving and considering that someone to be the future spouse.
Second possible reason, I really haven't met anyone special with mutual interest. Theresa has this theory (and she is talking about me) that the inability of loving oneself makes one cannot love anyone. I admit that I have high standard for everything partly because of my training in both the academia and music. Coming from an Chinese family certainly does not help. So I would say, I accept who I am, but things can always be better. Dad said A is not bad. A+is even better.
  The third reason: I think I am still recovering from the past relationship. Overall, it has been only 8 months since my last break up. I tend to invest a lot in relationship. Am I afraid of getting hurt again? Probably. But I know I can love again. But as of now, there are still a lot of "only if he would like this...", "only if I did this...", "why does this has to happen..." in my minds whenever I think about it.
  Relationship is difficult, time-consuming, full of temptation, and a great test on my heart and mind. I don't mind being single. So I am just praying that God would guard my hearts until my future spouse come along.

Today's topic is our bathroom. Our suite has five girls so one bathroom is definitely not enough. From the dining area, there are two doors, one to the sink and shower area (with its own curtain separate it from the sink area), and the other one to the bathroom. So at the same time, its capacity can accommodate all of us doing bathroom-related matters. The strange thing is that the wall between the bathroom (with toilet inside) and sink area does no go up all the ways, which means that if you stand on the sink, you will be able to see whatever is going on in the bathroom area. Of course none of us do those kinds of thing. But you do hear and smell whatever is going on in the bathroom. It is becoming common for us to talk to each other from the bathroom to the dining area, or hearing someone's business while eating. I just thought it is strange and funny at the same time and that's the whole reason for this block. Thank you for bearing with me.

Since I have arrived Columbia University, I have been living off my suitcases. I only have 46kgs/100lbs luggage allowance, so I really don't have much. I have been very creative, e.g. using my nail clipper and only super size knife  as scissors in various occasion, using double size tape to seal bags of food, using towel as blankets, etc. I didn't even have any pants nor hangers. After freezing for couples night, I finally gave in and get myself a throw.

Two weeks later, I received my package that was supposed to arrive before my arrival. It was almost pain-taking to looking at the amount of "stuff" I have. I was used to living simple. Facing so many choices, life suddenly became complicated. Picking out clothes to wear is a pain. It was so easy having only one fall jacket. And what am I going to do with two pillow and three blankets on my twin bed? Nevertheless, it is nice to have my comforter and Phillip again.

Two weeks of simple living proves to me that I can indeed live without many things.

My screensaver is a slide show of "my Picture". I have started to really enjoy watching it lately. This year, I go back and forth to look over my pictures from Hong Kong, Australia, Norway, Croatia, etc. Thinking about my past, it all seems so beautiful. My past was exciting, eye-opening, as well as challenging, and heartbreaking. I know one day I would look back at my time in the U.S. and think the same way. Somehow, the past always seem better. Maybe it is time to stop my nostalgia and move on to something even better - the present and the future.

I love that I am so relaxed. Senior year, 6 credits, no pressure. Today I tried squash for the first time, it's kinda like tennis. I really like it. Han, Xiaobo, and I played for around an hour. Gosh, I will miss all this active time. Thursday Lijuan and I had step aerobic lesson... The instructor is like a robot. She doesn't seem tired at all, while most of us are just dying for a break. Fun though... Will try to keep going.
For carol, I did study for an hour yesterday. No bad la =)