So Columbia Teachers College has accepted me for the master program in Economics and Education for Fall 2009. The next to worry about is ... funding. I was told that it is one of the worst Ivies in giving scholarship. We will see. But the new does make me feel happy =)

All of a sudden, my brain turns on the slow motion mode. It is as if I can no longer keep up with all the events, work, jobs, relationship, applications, etc around me. As I am stretched thinner and thinner, my supervisors, adviser, and professors also want more and more from me. Being a researcher at Search Institute, PR at Youth Connection, office Assistant at Education Department, personal web site developer, Alive leader, worship team member, honors student, senior, graduate school applicant, roommate, friend, family member, occasional rides, and recently ex-girlfriend, it seems like I am reaching my multi-role-tasking limit.
Unfortunately, I do fall into the "Filled yet unfulfilled" category.
I need to rest and be still in God.

Dear friends, I am back in MN. I miss home instantly. It's so cold and dry here. I really can't wait to get out of these place. School has started though I am still in the vacation mode. I have slowly adjusted back to life in MN. Strange, familiar, cold, and slow. This will be the semester when I need to figure out my future. I am trying very hard not to think about it.

Just as what Pastor Laslo heard from the Lord in summer, my life is really undergoing many major change. This is part of the reason that I haven't blogged much since I arrived the States. Everything happens so quickly that I can't even digest. Once in a while, I caught a breath and "a-ha". For me and some of my friends, this summer was not as sweet as the last summer, when our love started to bloomed and the U.S. culture/people started to make more sense. This summer was different and difficult at the same time. It was the time of decision, to stay or go, to be or not to be, to dream or stick to the reality.

For the last couple of months, I experienced two break-ups but it seems like Carl and I are still going celebrate our one year anniversary this Sunday (also the Mid-Autumn festival at home, which have significant symbolic meaning). Relationship is hard. I think in many ways I still fansatize the fairy tale love (or soap opera love for that matter). Google chat really helps me to realize many of my complains to my friend regarding my relationship have to do with my selfishness and pride. My mind constantly struggles between "he is unique and I should love him the way he is" and "I can't stand this anymore, I need to move on". Every relationship is bound to be difficult and imperfect. Soo taught me a lesson that I will never forget, "Write down or imagine all the GOODs and BADs about the person, make a decision based on whether the GOODs can embrace the BADs." I once heard that women marry men hoping they will change, while men marry women hoping they will never change. It is true indeed. I am still stuck. I still don't know what to choose. I am afraid that I will find out how unloving I am.

School is surprising easy so far. My classes are more backloaded. So I guess I will just enjoy my time now and try to work on something now than the last minute. I am really excited on my honors project: Should SAT be required in College Admission? I just found out that one of the Math professor is an expert on this topic and now he is one of my advisor. I know I am just a nerd, but it's going to be so much fun. I am still procrastinating with the Grad school application and job search. I still don't know what I should be doing. Luckily I got them. I do sometime think about my friends. What are they going to be? Even I don't say, deep down in my heart I hope that I will end up somewhere with some familiar faces. Somehow, facing a new environment all alone is no longing appealing.

I have always preferred soy milk to milk. But today, I have a chance of trying soy yogurt. I can't say I like it or hate it. But I think I like yogurt more.

One of my task today is to arrange the Mac Weekly (Macalester College school newspaper) of the last 5 decades according to the time of issue. It was really fun to look at the pictures and read the news. People changes, their hair style, expression on picture, ethnicity. Mac used to be near 100% Minnesotan. Now, Minnesotans are only 16% of the population and 20% is international. The writing changes too. There used to be a lot more poetic story. The language is so pretty. And today, Mac is more political than ever. The tuition used to be $800 back in to 60s. And today, it is $36504.The landscape changes too, though by the same extent. Those old Mac Weekly witnessed the opening of different dormitory and academic building. Most of them exist until now.

 I read a funny story of how a cow and chickens create chaos in the chapel on the upper level of old main. Right when the English professor heard "moo" from above, a student realized that her cow at home (a few blocs away) was gone since the morning. You know, I could immediately image the mess in the chapel, with the staff trying to catch all the chickens and the girl with little blond cur feeling all embarrassed in front of her classmate.

Macalester is constantly changing. I am sure many people fight for it along the way.  Last week, my  prof  brought me a great new. She told me that Education is finally a major again. I have been talking with my professor last semester about the need and popularity of the major. I knew I must not have done a lot. But I am feeling like I suddenly become one of those history maker. This only confirms to me that I need to fight for what is right and needs to be changed.